So, my sleep pattern is all jacked up. I went to bed between 3 and 3:30 this morning, and woke up at 2 this afternoon. I piddled around the house and ran some errands, but by 7, I was ready for a nap. I think there's something wrong with me. I obviously can't go back to sleep now, so here I am, blogging
I've got to work at 10 in the morning, and rather than go to sleep at a semi-decent hour, I'll just be a zombie at work. ^_^
So, during my nap, I had the weirdest dream ever, and I'm going to type all out here before I forget it. It was that good. Have you ever watched a Bugs Bunny cartoon? It'll be involving him. And a cult. And Wal-Mart.
The dream opens with Bugs Bunny in a trenchcoat walking around all sneaky-like. Suddenly, there are TONS of Bugs Bunnies! They start doing all these crazy flips and insane jumps, like skipping three rooftops and crashing through windows. It was like they had some sort of freaky, weird, super strength, and I was one of them. Weird, right?
So all of us Bugs Bunnies meet at Wal-Mart, but not out in the open...well, sort of. We're in one of the little cut-outs at the front of the store where they put clearance items, arcades, and salons, but it's full of shelves and empty of people, save for us. And we're all lounging around talking with each other when the "Big Guy" walks in. He's a normal man, as normal as you can get with a trenchcoat, hat, and mysteriously green hand. I'm not sure whether the green hand was some sort of fungus, disease, or if he was just a really great gardener.
Suddenly, I look around, and we're all back to our normal human selves, in normal human clothes, but I don't recognize anyone. And everyone is freaking out about the guy at the front of the cut-out. He's not dead, but he's close to it. So the plan is the "Big Guy" (whose name, I think, was actually Bugsy O_o) is going to shoot and kill him. Everyone's really excited about it, but I'm confused. I don't know why this guy needs to die, and I have this weird feeling I won't be living long either.
Then someone starts passing out slips of paper with our names printed on them, which we are intended to sign. There are two names per slip. Some girl and I get our slip, and she signs, but I notice my name is spelled all wrong, like Kaityli, or something stupid like that. So I say, "I can't sign this. My name is spelled wrong. This is horrible." And then Bugsy comes up and he says, "What's the problem here?" I continue to protest, "My name is spelled wrong, and I just can't sign it if my name is spelled wrong. I understand I write my name like three different ways, not to mention there's Katelyn, but still, my name is all wrong. I just can't sign it. Can we fix it?" Surprisingly, Bugsy is really understanding and says, "Yea, we'll fix it later." And I agree, "Okay. I'll just sign it later then."
BUT I had no intentions of signing it later. I knew if I signed it, I'd be signing away my life, giving Bugsy permission to kill me. I don't know how I knew this, I just did. So I continue to mill around with my companions but with a heavy heart. I know they're all about to be killed, and I can't do anything about it. I don't know who will out me if I tell, and I don't know who my friends are. So I'm being all dodgy, looking for a way out, and Bugsy's looking at me funny, so I realize I need to be more low key.
Then I recognize someone! It's a guy with whom I graduated, and we were friends in high school. (Keep in mind this is a dream, logic is not prevalent.) My initial thoughts are, "I'm could be about to die, and he is definitely going to die. I need to kiss him." So I walk over to him, reach up to grab his face (because he IS rather tall, even in a dream), and realize I've got bad breath.
And of course there's a sink nearby full of toothpaste and toothbrushes and other hygiene products. I briefly considered shaving my tongue with a razor to remove the plaque, but that seems hazardous, even in a dream, and I don't know which toothbrush is mine, and my conscious germaphobe would not approve of random toothbrush using, so I opt for some toothpaste on my hands, swiping at my plaque-ridden tongue.
Once again, I realize Bugsy is staring at me. I mumble something about bad breath and walk back to my place as the killing of the random guy is supposedly about to commence, although I know he's actually going to kill us. I'm a little disappointed I didn't get to kiss the guy because I couldn't throw caution to the wind and deal with bad breath, but with death imminently around the corner, I decide there are bigger fish to fry.
I check my escape route again. I look at Bugsy. He's talking, but I'm not listening intently like my comrades. He notices me looking out into the Wal-Mart crowd (who somehow don't see us though we're in plain sight). I stare at him with wide eyes. He pulls his gun, aiming at me. I bolt.
I sprint through Wal-Mart, busting through racks of clothes and cards and bleach. I look at my feet; I'm Bugs Bunny again. I hear them chase after me, but I know they're no match for me. I'm too fast. They'll never catch me.
Confident in my ability to run and live, I wake up.